Confessions of a Conflicted Mommy 3

I can’t help myself. I don’t know if I have permanent mommy-brain, if it’s the raging hormones from having 4 kids in the past 5 years, or if this is just me as a mom (yikes), but I make no sense whatsoever most of the time. Is it just me? I contradict myself regularly and constantly battle conflicting emotions. I must confess that:

One minute, I’m telling the kids to “stop touching/poking/pulling/pinching me” but then later I’m sad if they only want to snuggle with daddy.

Sometimes I daydream about running away for a few days to get a break but then when I do get a mommy-day-out I find myself wondering what the kids are doing and thinking of things I want to do with them.

Often I find myself hollering at the kids, “STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER”….Uh, yeah, that was effective. Got it, mom.

I’ll tell my children to “relax, don’t let the legos stress you out” but then when I go to help, I get all flustered and irritable because I can’t find the one teeny tiny missing yellow circle piece that’s supposed to be the headlight (does the lego jeep really need to drive in the dark?).

I griped throughout our cross-country trek last summer that it was a more frustrating and stressful trip than it was worth, yet now look back at the pictures so fondly and am glad we did it (huh? Have I forgotten the daily, sometimes multiple-times-a-day, meltdowns?).

In one instant, I’ll complain that the kids are driving me nuts but then, in a flash, they’ll do something cute and I’ll gush about how much I love them.

I really do question my sanity many days and wonder if I’m going a little crazy with the opposing emotions and desires swirling around inside of my sometimes-too-hot-sometimes-too-cold body. But, one thing I do know for sure, right now, for the next 10 minutes (okay, may just the next 5 minutes) is that I have the best kids in the world and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else (until about 5pm and then I may daydream about being in Key West sipping on a Margarita with some of my mommy friends…kid free).



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3 thoughts on “Confessions of a Conflicted Mommy

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  • Lisa Annis

    Dear Amy,

    What a gr8 post! There are a few moms over here at Cre8Play that question our sanity also! Parenting is definitely a wonderful and crazy world and you are doing a great thing by encouraging outdoor and active play. I think we all agree it has it has significant mental and physical benefits!! We truly appreciate your efforts to connect deserving children and families to amazing play spaces. Thanks for all you do from all of us here at Cre8Play.

    • Amy Rowland Post author

      Thank you so much for the positive feedback, Lisa! You all are truly amazing in the way you bring to life the most imaginative play environments. You all are part of the reason we are so passionate about playgrounds. 🙂